the rest of the people in the world, dead or wished away...

I wish to melt into the darkness - a face, a body, a person- POOF! Disappear into the light less abyss, to not breathe and yet there are dreams of you. Dreams where you are someone else but your face, your eyes and your body remains: a person I recognize and yet we are strangers, like newlyweds who have never met before. I don't know you and I still I still... love you, your kisses on my neck, I still love you. 

You make love to me so tender and we kiss and you are still the one. I wish you would always be the one! I try so hard to make you mine but you are not. But in my dream, we are in a desert. It's barren, there is no one there and we are alone. It's lonely, sandy and vast. 

A lone truck ambles on the only dirt road that passes through this vast blank of a desert land that we call our home. We live under the stars except we do have a mud house and a movable tent. No one knows us here, we have a kid but we are oh so alone and all on our own. 

Some elders married us off and then left. Strangely enough you are a Jewish man and we married under the chuppah. There is an abandoned factory a few steps away but the thing is we have a life there. In the barren desert land with the heat and sand everywhere, no one bothers us. You make love to me and it is so good. I want the dream to never end and we are the only pair here. You're mine and in your deep dark eyes I can see how you only want to be mine. 

As a child, I always had these apocalyptic scenarios in my head, where there would be just the two of us, my lover and I, and the rest of the people in the world, dead or wished away. We had the entire earth to ourselves to walk on. 

Sometimes the lover was not a lover at all, just a wild beast of a man who desired me, who was ready to annihilate the rest of the world, just so that he could have me all to himself with no one around. 

He would have burned down the entire city and by the time it was over, I was in love.The thrill of being the only two people in a destroyed world was wildly captivating to me. I must have been nine or ten years old when I had such dreams and visions.